I did something very guilty todae and i'm sure it has a great impact on a lot of people. Wasn't feeling that great the entire afternoon due to this incident... Those in the office should know and i ain't gonna elaborate further.... If is gonna affect u, den i deeply appologise for my carelessness. Argh....

Rushed down to roxy square immediately after work to meet my Metalz to celebrate Joyce's bdae... Luckily, i still made it in time with the help of a cab. Ate steamboat and the experience was fantastic with the air-con. Cheap price and great food, especially the ma la soup.

Wanted to sing k-box but it was too ex. So we turn to sitting down at Gelare chatting. Found out that uni life ain't that easy and free. Worse thing is the stupid travelling time and living in a hostel aint that cheap as i thought it would be. Has decided to crash their lectures during one of my off days or leave to see what is gonna happen to me in 2 years time.

Feeling super tired and guilty rite now.. Think i'm gonna fall asleep soon.

I finally decide to blog today... Recently too many events took place and i seriously have no energy to blog.

Recalling at that point in time i got my posting, I was super happy. I couldn't sleep the whole night in my bunk and my platoon mates and officers were happy to know i got posted to NSSC. From then, i thought my nightmare would end. The sufferings, the pain, the torture would be gone and i would be enjoying my life for the next 2 years. However, it seems to be wrong..

NSSC really isnt as good as wad many ppl think it would be. Though you work 8-5 everyday in an air-conditioned office environment, you won't feel happy going to work. Upon knowing the fact that i'm entering the deferment section, i know my gd days are gone. True enough like what most people sae, the deferment section is a section that is different from the other sections and is super demanding. Everyday, there's lots of deferment cases to handle and is never ending work. My team i/c have to even stay back in order to meet the KPI. This has inevitably added stress to me to perform even better in work during office hours. For those people who know me, I'm result conscious and I'm very bothered about wad others think about me n and my performance. Thus, life for me in office is super tough as i wanted everything to be perfect. I couldn't tolerate the fact of being shoot at in a meeting at the conference room though is part n parcel to make mistakes. Sigh....

How i envy my other counterparts that are working in other branches and sections. They are leading a much easier and happier life everyday. Everyday to them is a happy day while everyday to me seems so long and tiring. I dun know how long i can continue on working this way. Like what my team i/c said, he got quite a hard time adjusting to the way of life in deferment but eventually he still settled down. What's worse is still not the work load. To me, is the impression of what others think about me is important. Sad rite? I realise that if i'm too hardworking, others would think that i want to fight for a lot of things. But if i dun work hard, some may have the idea that im playing punk and trying to slack, thus casting a bad impression. Sigh.. Can someone tell me wad to do?

When will i be able to take a break and take things lightly? How come others can survive the work load but i can't? Isit becos i'm not as wise? Or isit becos i'm too vulnerable? I dun seem to know what im doing rite now. Or even i dun know im in danger zone rite now? When will all these go away from me? Argh...............................